Marriage is not to be entered into lightly . . . but reverently, deliberately and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God.
from The Book of Common Prayer, “The Celebration and Blessing of A Marriage”
from The Book of Common Prayer, “The Celebration and Blessing of A Marriage”
Christian Formation for Those Considering Marriage
St. Luke’s Episcopal Church affirms that marriage is a serious and sacred event because two complex, individual lives are being joined together as one. Through God's love, which we believe is made visible in the Church, individuals can accomplish this amazing and lasting union. St. Luke's sees the work of helping individuals to enter the covenantal relationship of marriage fully and maturely as part of its mission.
This page is dedicated to the Christian formation process as it seeks to prepare individual couples for this important new phase of their life together. Why is this important? Because who one is at the beginning of your marriage is not always who they end up being years later. By entering this process, couples may not only learn more about themselves as individuals and as a couple but also learn how to grow together and be better able to adapt to the changes that may come their way.
[If you are simply looking for information on weddings at St. Luke's including a downloadable brochure
please visit the church's website. Click here.]
This page is dedicated to the Christian formation process as it seeks to prepare individual couples for this important new phase of their life together. Why is this important? Because who one is at the beginning of your marriage is not always who they end up being years later. By entering this process, couples may not only learn more about themselves as individuals and as a couple but also learn how to grow together and be better able to adapt to the changes that may come their way.
[If you are simply looking for information on weddings at St. Luke's including a downloadable brochure
please visit the church's website. Click here.]
The Purpose of Christian Formation for Marriage
Through our Christian formation process for marriage we hope to help couples:
- Create shared goals for a happier future
- Learn the importance of compassion and empathy
- Develop good interpersonal communication
- Become aware of the importance of emotional and physical intimacy
- Discuss how how traditions play a role in family life.
The Formation Process
The formation process for marriage requires a minimum of three sessions facilitated by a member of St. Luke's ministry team. For those who are not parishioners, this requirement can be fulfilled by a minister in their own church or through a secular counseling service. Evidence of completion of such a program outside of St. Luke's is required for a wedding to take place.
We advise couples to begin these preparations as early as possible after they decide that they want to be married to allow sufficient time for conversation, refection, and any necessary personal development that may arise in the course of their discussions.
- Session 1 - When participating in the formation process at St. Luke's, the first session seeks to introduce the couple to the process. The couple will meet with a member of the ministry team to discuss their desire for Christian marriage and what brought them to this point in their lives. At that session, the ministry team member will discuss the overall process and answer any questions that the couple may have. A couple should be prepared to schedule a tentative date for the celebration of their wedding to secure the date/time on the parish calendar.
- Session 2 - By the beginning of the second session, the couple will have undertaken a pre-marriage audit (see below) and submitted the questionnaire to the member of the ministry team facilitating their formation process. During this session, the outcomes outlined in the questionnaire will provide the basis for an in-depth discussion about the couple's understanding of what their are undertaking. At this time, the member of the ministry team and the couple will determine if further discussion sessions are necessary before proceeding to the final phase of preparation.
- Final Session - At this session, plans for the wedding ceremonies will be discussed and finalized. At this time, the couple should be ready to finalize the date/time of the wedding as well as the date/time of any rehearsal that may be desired.
We advise couples to begin these preparations as early as possible after they decide that they want to be married to allow sufficient time for conversation, refection, and any necessary personal development that may arise in the course of their discussions.
Basic resources
must have conversations |
resources for understanding |
a pre-marriage audit |
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Before making the commitment to spend the rest of your lives together, it's important to communicate and discuss your individual values and beliefs, such as religion, family dynamics and rituals, careers, and money to name a few. The booklet below provides some resources to facilitate those conversations.
Download this file to see what "Must Have Conversations" might be important. 
Because the nature of the relationship between same gender/sex couples may differ, same gender/sex couples preparing for marriage should use the version of "Must Have Conversations" below.
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Marriage has been considered an essential part of the Christian life as long as the Church has existed. To help couples better understand the nature of Christian marriage within the traditions of the Church, the resource book below provides background on several facets of marriage that distinguish it from what we often understand from our wider culture.
Download this file to read and learn about the many facets of Christian marriage as understood in the Church.
As the Church has evolved its understanding of marriage, some of the traditional ideas about marriage have also evolved. Key among these has been an intensive discussion about biblical teaching. The version of our resources booklet below, seek to help understand these developments better.
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There comes a time when each of us must assess our personal position and person needs in the context of our relationship with other.
The questionnaire below seeks to help each member of the couple preparing for marriage enter into some deep thinking about what they propose to do. It is designed to help come to better self awareness and a deeper awareness of one's partner. Each member of the couple should download a copy for themselves and complete the questionnaire independently, unless otherwise instructed. Once complete, the couple may share their answers with their partner (or not). In any event, each partner's copy of the questionnaire should be sent to the minister assisting them in their preparation to provide background for further discussion. This should be submitted before the second session.
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a PLanning Guide
The downloadable resource below provides a comprehensive planning guide for a wedding. It outlines the service, provides list of options (e.g. Scripture readings) and guidelines concerning other matters often associated with the celebrations. This resource can guide your conversations in making plans for the ceremony itself. The second resource listed is designed to assist those celebrating a same gender/sex wedding.
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For more information, or to schedule a meeting with a member of the ministry team, please contact St. Luke's Episcopal Church by sending an email or by calling the parish office (717) 272-8251. Our parish administrator will send you any necessary information and/or help you schedule an initial meeting.